To say that it was an easy 4-year relationship is definitely a complete understatement. Filed under the “Modern Love Story” category having met on Bumble in 2018, I was almost 5 months fresh from a breakup when my friends made my account on the app. “Meet new people” was the quote for those who are newly single. Around February I found my Sisterhood clique busy swiping away for potential matches for me as we sat in Polilya, a nice local bar located in the Poblacion area of Makati. I could say with certainty that it was during this time a certain someone was doing the same except he was just at his place as he swiped right on every possible girl because - as he would say - it was a “numbers game”.

I’ve gone on some Bumble dates before, with different types of men of different ethnicities, when I realized that they’re all the same just packaged differently. Honestly maybe I was just downright picky. I never seem to let them get past the first date. Some of them are predictable, some are boring, some are misogynists, some are arrogant pricks, and the list goes on. Most of the dates I went to played into the stereotypes, which made the whole idea of going on to these dates not as exciting as how others would make them out to be. Uneventfully, I got another notification of a potential match.

It was Lakhi.

Now, I’m quite certain that the first impression (judging from our conversation) was terrible. I deemed him as rude and he thought that I was the worse communicator ever known. Which, if he only knew at that time, was quite ironic as I graduated with a communications degree. I thought he was mean so I wasn’t fully invested into conversing with him. He made an assumption about me and made it sound horrible. To be fair, he probably thought I was the worse too because we didn’t communicate with each other for about 4 days after our initial exchange. At that point, you could assume that it was all well and over. To my surprise, he reached out and asked if we could go on a date. I told him that we could hangout the day after and he agreed; though we never got around to fixing the specifics of that date. You can already tell that we’re not really up for it.

The next day came and I was completely swamped with work. I even went on overtime that I almost forgot about the date. When I realized this, I quickly left him a message asking if we’re going to have to take a rain check, then I ultimately decided to ditch the entire thing. At that time I thought that there was absolutely no harm in leaving people - specifically total strangers - hanging. I mean, I wasn’t rude… I was just smart about it. I asked him if we’re going to push through but I’m pretty sure by the time he replies I was already up the Skyway on my way home. At this point, I was already driving my car. I had to pass by Makati city to get some documents and soon after I was already in Arnaiz avenue. I was close to the ramp heading up the Skyway when the stop light turned red. Great. I didn’t make it.

While waiting for the green light, my friend Danyel Lu called asking if I was free to hangout that night and help her out with her bodybuilding outfit. I told her that I was and briefly mentioned that I was ditching a date. At that point I was even confident that the date wasn’t going to push through since it was already too late for a date to begin with. Shocked when she knew I had a supposed date planned, Danyel thought otherwise. Over the phone she was convincing me to wait for him to respond to my question and see if the date will actually happen or not. She even stressed that I deserved to go out, have a bit of fun, and meet new people in order to forget about my Ex. She also highlighted the fact that I did agree to go on a date. To get her to drop the subject, I told her that I would go if he calls or even texts confirming the date before the stop light turns green. She agreed and immediately ended our call. Judging by how the incoming cars from the other direction was slowing down, I made that condition knowing full well it was going to work out in my favor since it was almost a few seconds ‘till the green light.

Boy was I wrong.

You know when you shouldn’t just willy nilly ask the Universe for signs or letting it decide life-defining actions or say conditional things for the Universe to hear out of the blue? This was one of those moments. As soon as Danyel ended our call, I received his text asking to meet for late coffee/dessert. You’ve got to be kidding me. Then the stop light turned green and I had about a millisecond to decide if I was going or not.

I don’t really know what happened. It was very much a blur. The next thing I knew I found myself parked on the street on the right of Arnaiz avenue. I realized that the street was headed back to the city. Sh*t. I made a hard right. I was a few meters from Arnaiz and behind me I see the cars going up the Skyway. I found myself staring blankly. I started to think about what I was doing and why I did what I did. Suddenly my phone rang. It was Danyel. Of course. I picked up her call and told her that I ended up turning right back to the city because he reached out just in time. She was excited for me. I, on the other hand, wasn’t. “Great. A date with an a**hole” was all I thought. She ended the call and I begrudgingly drove to the meeting place. I had about 10 minutes until I reached my destination. I was extremely anxious that I was going back and forth with my decision and fidgeting on the steering wheel.

The next thing I knew I was already there. I remember stalling. Reaching out to him and asking him if there was any parking spot around when I was actually already parked right in front of the meeting place. I needed more time to myself in order to wrap around the idea that I am going on a date with someone who I could very much not like. What a waste of time. We were to meet at this cafe called Kiss The Tiramisu, a nice quaint place by Valero street. As I entered the cafe all I thought about was the possibility that the entire date wouldn’t even last and I’ll be home in no time. A comforting thought really.

I didn’t even see him sitting by the empty tables so I thought I was actually there ahead of him. Wow. I decided to line up to get something - anything really at that point. “Lea!” was the next thing I heard.

I’m always poised, but in this case I slightly jolted at the sound. I was greeted with a really happy face almost fake happy actually. It was slightly annoying how his smile was in a sort of ‘in-your-face’ kind of way. He was so smiley and just excited. I don’t know if the entire thing was real or not. I also don’t know if I’m going to be ticked off or otherwise. We sat down and I told myself to be polite. Keep it professional.

I’ve been on dates before, but something about this date was different. For starters, he didn’t ask why I talk the way I talk and sound the way I sound. We were jiving, and he’s actually quite nice. Like me, he goes back and forth to the States and the Philippines. He does Chicago to Cebu while I do Manila to New Jersey and New York. “What are you doing in Manila then?” I asked. “I’m helping my mom out with her business” he replies. Huh, I can relate. Indian, Chinese and Filipino. Mixed breed. I see. A PR and Marketing specialist. Doesn’t smoke. Likes dogs. A big foodie and serious coffee addict. Okay. We have some similarities. That’s interesting. He wasn’t at all how I imagined he would be. He didn’t even question why I don’t drink coffee. Would you look at that.

About 15 to 20 minutes after meeting, the cafe’s servers had to ask us to leave and I don’t blame them. We came to their cafe quite late but we couldn’t exactly end the date. We were actually having such a nice time talking. Strange, I’m actually enjoying this.

When we transferred to Locavore which was the restaurant beside the cafe, I thought perhaps the conversation would slow down. I was partially right. He was already on his phone looking slightly agitated. “Sorry, let me just clear something up, I wanna be in this conversation” he said. I was actually taken aback in a good way. He then very quickly added “I’m just cancelling a few things just give me a second.”

In that very specific moment it hit me.

This man purposely scheduled his meetings the same time as our date thinking the entire thing was going to go wrong. Man, he and I do have some things in common. I roared into laughter and responded “don’t worry I was going to ditch you too”.

He looked up and stared at me knowing full well that I caught up with what he was doing. He then ended up throwing his head back into laughter. From that point on, all the formalities were gone. We were free to be honest and we happily shared more things that we enjoyed with one another until the restaurant had to close.

Still the date wasn’t over.

There weren’t any other places left so we ended up walking around the neighborhood. We even ended up walking around the entire area twice! All we did was talk about our interests. He apparently took Theater in highschool and The Lion King was his favorite Disney movie growing up, though he shared that he was a Nickelodeon kind of guy. He wanted to be an actor but ended up taking Nursing in the States. Ah, typical Filipino. “How did you end up in PR & Marketing?” I asked. “I never really liked Nursing to begin with. I’m more of an extrovert…”. I can tell. “Connecting with people has been my passion...” Wow, we’re talking about passions now? Okay. “What’s yours?” he suddenly asked.

I don’t usually share because I don’t get asked about my ‘passions’ on the first date. It’s usually what I’m looking for, hobbies, what happened during work, funny facts about our interests, why didn’t the previous relationship work out, etc. Pretty stereotypical first date topics. But judging by the sincerity and the tone of this entire date, I finally decided to share. I told him about my passion for the creative industry specifically Fashion and Beauty and that I love to write. “Suits you” he said. That’s nice of him.

During the course of our walk, I got him to say lines from plays and movies that he liked in total character. “Sample! Sample!” I chanted, and he happily obliged having been a theater major. We laughed a lot and basically just enjoyed each other’s company. When we got back from circling the entire block it was already 3AM. Has it really been THAT long?

Now, how do you end dates that you genuinely like? I haven’t liked anything in a long time.

They say that in moments where you don’t know what to do, trust your gut. Your body, in some circumstances, knows what to do in a given situation. I trusted mine.

I ended up giving him a kiss that night before we said goodbye. To hell with the stereotypes, and to my surprise he wasn’t even shocked or weirded out at the fact that I did so. Instead, he reciprocated and responded with “I was gonna save that for the second date, but wow that felt right”. Oh. A second date? Would I really go to that one? I’ve never let anyone past the first one before…

I didn’t tell him this, but I blushed as I was getting inside the car after I said my goodbyes. I like him. What do you know…

After that date, Lakhi and I pretty much talked all the time. He would fly from Cebu to Manila to go on dates with me while he was still in the country, and I was able to visit him in Chicago when I had to fly to the States in the middle of the year to visit my family.

We were blissfully happy just talking to one another despite the distance that we were label-less for about 8 months. And who would’ve thought that plane tickets were already involved in the early stages of our dating history. Of course it’s not exactly the best circumstance to stay like that for long. Things became serious when he flew back to the Philippines that same year and eventually he asked me to be his girlfriend. We’ve been officially dating one another since November 11, 2018.

Looking back, who would’ve thought that two judgemental strangers would go along with the Universe that day and take a leap of faith. Although it wasn’t the typical meetcute everyone was hoping for, nor was the entire 8 months your typical way of dating someone before becoming official, it was ours, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.